When I moved to Oklahoma City, I moved into an apartment complex.  I’d been living in houses since about 2009, so apartment living came as a bit of a shock.  First, I had accumulated a lot of crap in the last 6 or 7 years, so downsizing was a challenge.  I am one of those girls that keeps everything.  People like to throw the word “hoarder” around, but I prefer to call it sentimental.  In fact, I still have a baseball some guy gave me in college.  Do I remember who gave me the baseball and why?  No.  But it was important to 18 year old me, so it goes in the keep pile!  Literally, I’ve spent almost two decades holding on to a baseball that no longer has any meaning….wait, maybe someone should put a call into A&E.  Or is it TLC that does the hoarder show?  I don’t remember, let me go check my stack of TV Guides.

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Proof. Also, Jules would make an excellent shortstop.

The point is, it’s been a while since I’ve been in a communal living situation.  No, Dad, that doesn’t mean a nude artist’s colony, don’t worry.  I’m saving that for retirement.  And truthfully, the only thing communal about my apartment is the gym area, pool, and parking garage, but this is the first time I’ve shared any space with other people in a really long time, so…there have been some growing pains.  Lucky for you I put together a pro/con list.  First off, the pros.

1.) I don’t have as much space to hoard.  (They say admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?)  When I moved I had to get rid of what felt like EVERYTHING – except the baseball, don’t be ridiculous.  I sold a lot of stuff, but finally resigned myself to leaving a few things on the curb, or just shoving items into the hands of random passerby.  I also paid a restoration company several hundred dollars to come take an entire garage of junk that had been ruined in an unfortunate flooding scenario.  I wish I could hire those guys in general for my life.  For example, my relationship is a mess, can I give you guys some money and while I’m inside you can just make it all go away?  Legally, of course.  Wait, we’re getting a little dark here, but seriously if there is a service for that, let me know.  If not, then, trademark pending, y’all.  Anyway, I don’t have a lot of space, so even a hoarder has to make some cuts.  Which has sort of simplified my life. I guess.  But sometimes, in the dark of night, I miss that stack of bills from 2003.

2.) The Gym.  I am lazy.  So so lazy.  I try to act like I’m not, but I am.  Honestly, from the second my eyes pop open every morning the first thought that comes to mind is “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO .”  My alarm goes off, and I am literally this dog.  So, naturally, working out has to be EASY in order for me to even attempt any type of fitness regimen.  As I mentioned in my earlier post, I have actually been able to find a workout groove since I’v moved to OKC.  That’s because the gym is in the same building in which I reside.  Otherwise it wouldn’t happen.  That, and Spotify.  OHMYGOD Spotify.  Spotify is my jam, or my spirit animal, or my bae – whatever the kids are saying these days.  When I like a song, it’s like a 14 year old girl that just discovered One Direction.  It’s all I care about for at LEAST 5 days.  And I listen to it obsessively until I cannot hear it again.  Enter Spotify.  Not only do they have other people’s playlists you can listen to, but you can also hear any song you want to AT ANY TIME.  Like, just now, I wanted to listen to Irene Cara’s “What a Feeling” and I did.  I also listened to a weird cover of the same song.  Heaven, I tell you.  (They have that song too!)  The other best thing about Spotify is you can listen to music based on the activity or time of day.  So for me, I go to the workout section and find a playlist that looks fun and off we go.  I have extended several workouts since living here just because I wanted to finish out a playlist.  You can, of course, make your own list too.  My current favorite playlist consists of Ryan Adams and Taylor Swift both performing 1989.  Taylor for the workout and Ryan for the cool-down. And no this post is not sponsored by Spotify, but I wish it was.  #squadgoals.  So the lesson here is, a centrally located workout facility + streaming music = Fit and Fab Dammit Suzanne.

Will someone please buy this for me?

3.) It was new.  Nobody lived here before me.  The OCD in me was doing Beyonce hair flips when they gave me that bit of info.  No germs!!!  Let me get a pen real quick to sign that contract…oh, you want blood?  No problem!

4.) The Pool. This one goes into both the pro and con category.  Pro: IT’S A POOL AND WE LIVE ON MARS.  So it’s nice to have a body of water in your vicinity.  Con:  The people at the pool.  Seriously, why are they still filming MTV Spring Break? Is that still even a channel?  Every time I’m there,  I feel like I’m periscoping Las Vegas.  FYI – That link is ALMOST NSFW, but you should be okay as long as a coworker doesn’t walk by, in which case, you’re going to HR.   And if you clicked on that link anyway, something tells me it’s probably not going to be your first time.  You rebel, you.  What I’m saying is, the pool is a major party scene.  Which is fine and all, but I am pretty sure that at least 79% of the people at the pool are people that don’t live there.  And they probably pee in it, let’s be honest.  It’s just gross.  At the beginning of the summer, I asked one guy what floor he was one, and he said “Naw, man, I just got the key code off a Facebook post.”  Great, don’t mind me if I steal this lawn chair since I’m paying rent for it.  GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS!  But, if you’re looking for a new pattern for that tribal tatt you were thinking about getting, or you want to talk about the Cross-fit WOD, you should swing by.

#truestory

Other Cons:

5.) Neighbors.  But seriously, IS that a bowling ball?

6.) Being Nickle and Dimed.  You pay rent, which you think is going to include the basics – stuff like trash, water, parking,  and YOUR ANIMALS.  But alas, that is no longer the case.  My complex charges extra for allllll that ish. Including pet rent.  Yes, you are correct, Gig and Jules pay rent.  And since they are animals, and Jules still hasn’t made it famous on Instagram, that means I pay that money.  It’s not cheap either, but since I love them, what’s my option?  (Don’t answer that, Dad).  Unfortunately, most apartment complexes in even slightly large cities now charge a pet deposit and pet rent.  So unless your furry pal is that monkey from Friends, you might want to take that into consideration when thinking about moving into an apartment.

Despite my diatribe, I guess ultimately the pros outweigh the cons.  Also, moving sucks, so I will probably live here at least until the zombie apocalypse.  Until then, if you’re in the mood to get an STD from a body of water, call me and we’ll go swimming.